Sunday 22 December 2013

Validation

She reached her hand down into my cold and dark corner, and spoke the words "I understand you.  I have been where you are.  I can help you out."  Slowly I uncurled from my recessed position and stood to my feet.  The light hit my face, and I looked in her eyes.  A resounding and profound connection was there, and I trusted her without question.  She was here to guide me.

And she did understand my feelings.  She had been through this before.  She knew exactly how I let this happen, and she knew what I needed to do.  "Let Him take it on", she spoke.  I envisioned the chest of a man much bigger than me, strong and resolute.  I'd place my head on His chest and weep and cry.  I would let all of my fears, frustrations and pain fall onto Him...and I would find peace.

Validation is a requirement of the human experience.  Validation of emotions, feelings and thoughts is both an internal and an external experience.  Sparing the details of the last 8 months, I've never felt so many emotions in such a short amount of time.  My experiences caused intense feelings to surface that would later be minimized by the person causing them.  Confusion set in.  Unsure what I was even entitled to feel, I stuffed it all down inside and sought others to tell me how to feel and what to do. 

The human experience is deep, and while others can connect on one level, it wasn't on all levels that we met.  Advice poured in and no opinion was withheld.  I reveled in having others understand how frustrating this must all be, but not one said I must give up the ghost.  Ultimately, at the end of the day I KNEW this was not a healthy way to feel and yet I continued to feed it.

I became wrought with anger and hatred.  When questioned as to why I had so much hate, I couldn't even explain why.  I simply felt.  It held me captive.  It consumed my thoughts.  I wanted nothing more than to break free from what now bound me.

I put out an SOS call... "Please, just someone hear me!"

By the grace of God, I extended my cry to one person in particular.  I felt moved to contact her, and I got more than I could possibly have ever imagined.

The linked article here outlines the levels of emotional validation from someone:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance

Level 6 was this woman.  She was my radical genuineness.  She shared her experience and helped me find the exit door of the feelings that imprisoned me.  

"Let go.  Let Him."... validation beyond the human experience.

1 comment:

  1. ooooh....I love that article, thanks for sharing it... sometimes relating and reaching out are easier than others... I'm definitely bookmarking that one! I can't tell you how it thrills my soul to know that you experienced and will continue to experience THAT peace and the arms of THAT embrace. Wishing you the best year yet! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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