The Perfect Day for it

I was sitting on the deck this morning, still reeling from yesterdays events (everyone ended up getting the stomach flu and we came this close to taking Eloic in to the ER for dehydration), and feeling sorry for myself.  I kept thinking about how this year off on maternity leave was supposed to be this magical experience having the whole family together for a whole year.  How we were supposed to be able to spend endless hours outside in the sun.  We were supposed to enjoy being able to go anywhere on a whim - any time.  Reno and I were supposed to be able to spend nights staying out late playing cards with our close neighbor friends.  Well, if you can tell by all of the supposed statements, that just never happened.  It was really the overstatement of my life - suggesting this year off was going to be such an enjoyable experience, and here I am sitting nearly 1 year later, and I haven't done any of those things.  Yet there I sat, on a peaceful morning of a beautiful day drinking my coffee uninterrupted.  Of course, it didn't feel like such a peaceful experience when my mind was full of such negative thoughts.  I decided to leave my quiet spot to head inside... disinfection of the house after the disastrous few days before was necessary.  I justified this move by thinking it was cold and lonely outside, but really, I just didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

We disinfected all the bathrooms and surfaces, mopped floors, did laundry and caught up on dishes.  Graysen woke up and ate lunch. With all the kids sitting on the couch watching some thoughtless TV, we decided we needed to get out of the house.  We packed up G in the stroller and off we walked to the store.  We let the kids pick their own package of Jello as the nurse recommended it on Healthline as a healthy and easy on the stomach food.

By this time I was starting to feel a lot better about my day - amazing what the power of sunlight can do!  We came back home and the kids played outside.  I rocked with Graysen on the swing and he was looking mighty sleepy.  I brought him in, and after a peaceful nurse, he went down for a nap.  Reno and I cooked a nice supper while the kids made a fort in the living room out of chairs and a large blanket.  Graysen got up from his nap and freaked out with excitement over the massive fort.  So awesome to see his face light up like that.

After supper, we headed out on a small bike ride.  The two little ones were together in the bike trailer with Reno pulling them, Aurora and Denali on their bikes, and me on my bike.  I have waited two long years to ride that bike.  I broke my tailbone right after purchasing it in 2009, and it was still too painful to use last summer.  Just another reason to put a smile on my face.

Upon returning to the house, we let the kids play outside again.  Graysen watched in awe as Eloic rode his tricycle up and down the driveway.  I took out Eloic's old Cozy Coupe and plopped Graysen in it.  Instant smile from ear to ear.  We "chased" Eloic on his tricycle with the Cozy Coupe, and the two boys and I giggled infectiously.  Graysen loves that car - perhaps even more than Eloic did.  He's even figured out how to push it backwards.

He loved the siron!

We came inside and ate the Jello we had prepared earlier.  Graysen got his own bowl and LOVED it.  Anyone who knew us as the Aurora and Denali were growing up knows we NEVER would have given them something like Jello at this age, but by the 4th time around we are most definitely more relaxed.  It was super messy, and Graysen was red all over, but what's important was that everyone enjoyed it.

YUMMY

The aftermath

Overall, today was a day that reminded me that while this past year may not have been what I wanted it to be, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.  While it wasn't all roses and sunshine, there were moments that were GREAT and they shouldn't be suffocated by those that didn't quite make the cut.  The times where I couldn't go outside to enjoy the outside air and sun shouldn't be overshadowing the times where I watched my beautiful son smile at me in delight.  The nightly crying streaks shouldn't make me forget the peaceful body that slept as he nursed.  The moments where we were segregated in our own house do to incessant fighting and arguments should not come above the moments where we pulled together as a family, laughed, loved, and shared our thoughts without fear.  I needed to be reminded of what an amazing experience whether it turned out the way I wanted it to go or not, that this year has been. 

Today was the perfect day for it.