The Perfect Day for it

I was sitting on the deck this morning, still reeling from yesterdays events (everyone ended up getting the stomach flu and we came this close to taking Eloic in to the ER for dehydration), and feeling sorry for myself.  I kept thinking about how this year off on maternity leave was supposed to be this magical experience having the whole family together for a whole year.  How we were supposed to be able to spend endless hours outside in the sun.  We were supposed to enjoy being able to go anywhere on a whim - any time.  Reno and I were supposed to be able to spend nights staying out late playing cards with our close neighbor friends.  Well, if you can tell by all of the supposed statements, that just never happened.  It was really the overstatement of my life - suggesting this year off was going to be such an enjoyable experience, and here I am sitting nearly 1 year later, and I haven't done any of those things.  Yet there I sat, on a peaceful morning of a beautiful day drinking my coffee uninterrupted.  Of course, it didn't feel like such a peaceful experience when my mind was full of such negative thoughts.  I decided to leave my quiet spot to head inside... disinfection of the house after the disastrous few days before was necessary.  I justified this move by thinking it was cold and lonely outside, but really, I just didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

We disinfected all the bathrooms and surfaces, mopped floors, did laundry and caught up on dishes.  Graysen woke up and ate lunch. With all the kids sitting on the couch watching some thoughtless TV, we decided we needed to get out of the house.  We packed up G in the stroller and off we walked to the store.  We let the kids pick their own package of Jello as the nurse recommended it on Healthline as a healthy and easy on the stomach food.

By this time I was starting to feel a lot better about my day - amazing what the power of sunlight can do!  We came back home and the kids played outside.  I rocked with Graysen on the swing and he was looking mighty sleepy.  I brought him in, and after a peaceful nurse, he went down for a nap.  Reno and I cooked a nice supper while the kids made a fort in the living room out of chairs and a large blanket.  Graysen got up from his nap and freaked out with excitement over the massive fort.  So awesome to see his face light up like that.

After supper, we headed out on a small bike ride.  The two little ones were together in the bike trailer with Reno pulling them, Aurora and Denali on their bikes, and me on my bike.  I have waited two long years to ride that bike.  I broke my tailbone right after purchasing it in 2009, and it was still too painful to use last summer.  Just another reason to put a smile on my face.

Upon returning to the house, we let the kids play outside again.  Graysen watched in awe as Eloic rode his tricycle up and down the driveway.  I took out Eloic's old Cozy Coupe and plopped Graysen in it.  Instant smile from ear to ear.  We "chased" Eloic on his tricycle with the Cozy Coupe, and the two boys and I giggled infectiously.  Graysen loves that car - perhaps even more than Eloic did.  He's even figured out how to push it backwards.

He loved the siron!

We came inside and ate the Jello we had prepared earlier.  Graysen got his own bowl and LOVED it.  Anyone who knew us as the Aurora and Denali were growing up knows we NEVER would have given them something like Jello at this age, but by the 4th time around we are most definitely more relaxed.  It was super messy, and Graysen was red all over, but what's important was that everyone enjoyed it.

YUMMY

The aftermath

Overall, today was a day that reminded me that while this past year may not have been what I wanted it to be, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.  While it wasn't all roses and sunshine, there were moments that were GREAT and they shouldn't be suffocated by those that didn't quite make the cut.  The times where I couldn't go outside to enjoy the outside air and sun shouldn't be overshadowing the times where I watched my beautiful son smile at me in delight.  The nightly crying streaks shouldn't make me forget the peaceful body that slept as he nursed.  The moments where we were segregated in our own house do to incessant fighting and arguments should not come above the moments where we pulled together as a family, laughed, loved, and shared our thoughts without fear.  I needed to be reminded of what an amazing experience whether it turned out the way I wanted it to go or not, that this year has been. 

Today was the perfect day for it.

House of Germs XXXX Stay Out

I feel like this is a sign we should hang on our door right now... like we need to be quarantined.  Have you seen the episode of Raising Hope where Maw Maw's germ infested self was revealed under the black light?  Well if you did, that's our house right now, so I would stay away.  Some days I wish we could put our family in a bubble, both to protect ourselves from others and to protect others from us.

There are two distinct schools of thought on germs.  The first is that we should be super cleaning to avoid contact with germs at all, and the second is that we should keep exposing ourselves to these microscopic organisms in hopes of developing a super immune system.  I'd like to think we'd fall somewhere in the middle.  Anyone who's seen our house knows we are not the super clean kind, but I most certainly don't go in search of a bug to increase our immune responses.

One of the difficulties we face as a family of 6 is that when we get sick, it's a friggen long ordeal.  As a single person, you get sick, you take the day or two off you need.  You sleep it all away and feel good as new 2 days later.  As a mother or father of 4, you watch it go through each of your children - usually one at time, doting on their every need for days on end.  Inevitably, you awake one day and find yourself suffering from the same symptoms you know and despise.  You make every effort possible to make sure everyone washes their hands.  You sanitize laundry every day.  You wipe down surfaces that may have been touched.  You make sure you only touch what you absolutely have to, all the while being sure to give all the cuddles and hugs necessary to make your children feel taken care of and loved.  All that, and it STILL goes through everyone, and you STILL end up getting sick.  It sucks and I'm tired, and I really don't want to puke again.  Will someone come take care of me?

Really though, I realize getting sick is inevitable.  We all get flus and colds.  I make certain that when my family is sick I limit contact with others so as not to spread the viruses and bacteria that knock us down so hard.  I don't expect others to stop living their lives because they are sick, I just wish we could stick a damn bubble over our friggen house sometimes.  Today is one of those days.

Oh dear.

Working Mama

I go back to work officially in 4.5 weeks... May 9th to be exact, but I mosied on into the office today (at a ripe 10:15!) and stayed a staggering 8 hours before leaving at 6:15.  I'm tired, but not the physically, I've been up with the baby since 6 this morning kind of tired.  It's the I'm excited about what's to come kind of tired.  BIG DIFFERENCE!

Those of you who know me well know that I love my job.  Most of you know the position I was in 3 years ago, searching for the job that fit me after leaving a job that I hated but was qualified to do.  My schooling gave me a diploma in CAD/CAM Engineering Technology (really long name for someone who uses computers to help design and draft), but my passion lies in programming.  I've always loved math, and programming is like one giant math equation solving one giant problem.  I'm grinning from ear to ear as I write it, it makes me that happy...

I've had a position change within work, and when I return, I'm on to strictly IT and Programming.  No more structural design unless there is a dire need.  Some of you are probably shuddering at the thought, but I'm not.  I'm more excited than ever.  The company I work for is so fantastic that they created this position to suite my wants, desires, and, hopefully, innate talent.  I just hope I can return this "favor" with a decent program to use :).

That being said, I'm soooo going to miss my babies (yes, they are ALL babies!).  It was so tough leaving the house today knowing I wasn't going to see them for almost 10 whole hours (factoring in the drive), but at least I got to spend 3 precious hours with them before heading off at 9.  I thought of them periodically throughout the day, managed to engage everyone I spoke to in a conversation about diapers (yes - every one!), said the word poop at least 10 times, and managed to find and print out a new side snapping diaper pattern (sorry ENGCOMP - I used a couple of pieces of paper ;)).  It's going to be a big adjustment, but I know it's for the best.  Being a mom and working requires a tough balance to be found, but I know we'll figure it out - we always have, and I think we are all better for it.

A Part of the Family

I'm reminded today about family.  About what family means, and the impact that said family leaves on your life. 

I know I am behind in my blogging, and I should be catching up on it... but I can't... not tonight.  My heart is heavy with a sadness I can't explain.  I can only hope that we can find some kind of resolution.

First, I'll backtrack a little and on a more positive note, talk about our wonderful visit with Tante Henny and Theo.  If you'll recall from a post a couple of weeks back, I talked about what a big part of Aurora and Denali's lives they were, and how I hoped they would be a bigger part of Graysen and Eloic's future.  Today we had a chance to catch up as we visited with them and their gorgeous baby Granddaughter, Lily.  It was so great to see the joy in their faces as they played with and doted on Lily.  G and Lily actually interacted in a way I hadn't anticipated - they loved each other!  We caught up and gabbed with Henny and Theo, ate a fantastic supper, and watched as an angelic Lily slept as Theo played the piano and Henny swayed with her.  Amazing the hypnotic effect the piano had on that little girl!  We are hoping to have many more visits with them in the upcoming months :)

Somewhere in the visit we talked about dogs.  We spoke of our fabulous Triscuit - our beautiful black English Cocker Spaniel.  A fantastic family dog, we hope to breed her this year - partly to give our children the experience of a birth and raising pups, and partly to entertain the idea of keeping a pup of hers.  Henny and Theo expressed some interest in a pup, and when we got home, I looked on Kijiji to see if we could find a suitable mate (she will be coming into heat shortly, so we want to line one up soon).  This is the part when my heart dropped, and I felt such a disappointment - both in ourselves and another family.

We've gone through a couple of dogs in our time as a family finding the right dog for us.  Some we gave up on early, some we worked for years to mold into what we wanted, but always we felt a feeling of guilt and relief when they left.  The feelings of guilt were quickly buried, remembering those dogs for the faults.  Three months ago, we gave away Molly to a family (for free).  Molly was probably one of the sweetest dogs you could ever meet, and she was ultimately a fantastic family dog, but she was not without her faults.  She was a piddler and didn't have the greatest hygiene.  This was not fault of her own - part of it was how we treated her (she became very submissive), and part of it was how she was raised (on a cement pad).  Could we have solved these issues on our own?  Maybe.  Did we have the energy to try?  Not really.  Did we think it was easier to find another home for her?  Definitely.  Another home it was...

When Molly left, I did a little happy dance.  I really felt this little hippy family would be her forever home.  I really, really thought they would be able to love her for all her faults.  It turns out they didn't.

Today, posted merely hours ago, was an ad for our Molly.  It was the first ad I saw in my search for a stud.   I have not looked on Kijiji for anything dog related since we posted our own add for Molly 3 months ago.  The irony that today, the day I finally look again, I see this ad. 

The ad reads:

American Cocker Spaniel for sale - $125.00. She is a great family dog, great with kids, and a great personality. She loves cuddles, is spayed, updated shots, enjoys walks and car rides. 

Molly, as easy as it seemed to give her away, was a family dog.  We mulled over the decision for weeks/months.  She was OUR family dog.  We loved her deeply, but she just never fit our family like Triscuit does.  That being said, the thought of her being bounced around from family to family is too much for me to bear.  I've emailed them, hoping that they might give her back to us so that we can help find her a more suitable home, or perhaps after our brief hiatus, refresh our relationship with her.  I can't help but shake the feeling that we turned our back on her, and that she will suffer from our short-comings.  .

I can't turn my back on her again. 

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A little behind...

So - I'm a little behind... OK... a LOT behind, but that's alright.  I will catch up soon.  Here's a quick update on what is going on in the land of the Therrien's, for which I will follow with more in depth posts:

1. We had a fantastic pot luck supper with the Duecks and the Peters.  It was so yummy and filling, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it!
2. My parents came for a fantastic weekend visit.  It was great.  We played cards, visited, ate some good food and threw my Mom totally off the diabetic sugar charts (whoops...).
3. The kids had another hockey game last night, and although they lost, they played a very good game.  I'm so proud of how far they have come.
4. I've been sewing cloth diapers like a crazy woman and loving it.  It is so much more fullfilling than buying them, and I constantly have new fluff to put on G's bum. 
5. We are keeping the room we set up as a spare room/office/sewing center!!!!!  Going to make it a permanent addition once the floors are finished :)
6. G has been sleeping like a trooper, and I couldn't be happier.
7. We are starting to test drive new/used vehicles!

That's about it!  I'll be blogging about each of these items in the upcoming days :)

Texting Disabled

So, it turns out I am texting disabled... or so it would seem.  Maybe it's just my phone, or maybe it's because I don't do it often enough, but whatever it is, this technologically savvy woman is just dumbfounded at the T9Word.

Our old phone, we would be able to easily cycle between the different words that were possible by simply pressing next.  This phone gives you a pop-up selection instead - only there aren't all the words that are possibilities.  I can't count how many times I had to reword and find a different way to say what I'm trying to say, just so I don't have to use certain words.  I felt very awkward, and it just confirmed my lack of interest in the whole cell phone/texting thing.  I don't know how people do it every day all day long...  I couldn't!

So when I logged on to Facebook and saw an IPhone4 texting flub-ups, I checked it out.  I could totally relate after today, but these are hilarious.  I laughed until I cried and then I checked out the website.  If you're looking for a good laugh, check it out... Just as a warning, some of the words might be found offensive, but I think most of you won't mind :)

www.damnyouautocorrect.com

I'm still laughing!!